A long road to get here!

I have not posted in a while but I am still working on my goal to be a healthy mommy at home. During the time that I last posted I did work outside of the home. I found that by putting my children in daycare they were better off at home. I know staying at home is not an option for everyone, but I am glad that I have been blessed to stay at home.

For the short time that I worked outside the home my children were getting sick constantly and I found it hard to juggle home, work, and my sick kids. In the end the I had to let go of the job that I enjoyed. I hope in the future when my kids are older I will be able to be reunited with my job and the people that I came to care for and respect.

For now I have been focusing on my family, my home, and getting in shape. My husband and I have been spending more quality time together and talking to each other. We have been married a long time and it seems during that time we lost connection with each other. We took for granted all the things that we have together. I found that its easy to hurt the ones that we love because we think they will always be there for us or they understand us. In reality this is not the case. The ones that we love are more affected by our actions than we realize. The need the most caring, love, and affection that we can give them because they live with us on a daily basis.

It's easy to let past hurts and resentments build up in life until all of it comes bubbling up to the surface. When the time comes for all those emotions to come out they are bitter and vile. I have finally started to learn how to talk with my spouse and talk about the discontent in our marriage, and I realize that sometimes my spouse has misconstrued my actions or a situation and I had no idea what they were thinking. I would have had no clue what they were thinking unless they told me, and without that knowledge those thoughts had become bitter pills in our marriage.

I have also learned to become more relaxed about my life. What will be will be. I have the control over what I decide I want to do but I can't control the outside forces. For the most part I stopped letting everything get to me. I finally understand the phrase "Pick your battles". In the past I used to think that everything was a battle to win. It's nice to win but if your always putting people down and making them feel like the loser then you have lost. The cost could be the one you love.

Birth Control Free

I have decided to stop using birth control. The side effects are just to much for me to handle. I want to feel happy and energetic and that just does not happen while I am on birth control.

In the past I had been on Depo Provera. I had migraines, muscles pains, depression, fatigue, and the list goes on.


Then I tried Mirena: I had migraines, my hair was falling out, I felt almost like I had become diabetic, feeling cold constantly, depression, and more.

After having the hormones detoxed from my body I feel happier and healthier. I have decided to start the Fertility Awareness Method. I have used the method to successfully get pregnant and now I am using the method to avoid pregnancy.

I have read the book Take Charge Of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. Another great resource is the forum: http://www.ovusoft.com/

The forum follows the book by Toni Weschler. There is a wealth of information contained in the forum, and many supportive people as well, no matter the stage of life.

My son's are being healthy.

My youngest, the one that has the imperforate anus, had to be switched from regular milk to soy milk. Due to regular milk binding him up. I was skeptical at first because I didn't think that he would like it. Boy was I wrong! He drank that stuff up in a nano second and then he wanted more!

I tasted a little bit of it and now I can see why. The soy milk tastes like melted Vanilla ice cream. I bought him the Silk Soy Milk the Very Vanilla and it is fortified with vitamins for kids.

In the end my kids switched me over to the soy milk. I just wish that it was not so expensive.

Humor

I just had to post this because things happen in life and if you go with the flow the end result may be better than what you intended, and everyone needs a laugh every now and then.

A Jeff Dunham Blooper:

Warning do not play if you are offended by foul language.

Saw my Therapist the other day.

Yes. I do see a therapist. I believe in Mental Health Check-Ups and they are just as important as your yearly physical. Seeing my therapist not only helps me to vent out my fustrations but she also helps me to focus on what is important to me.

When I am so involved in your own situation its hard to look at the other options that are open. Like the saying. "When one door closes another door opens". When things are tough and I'm feeling down I think "Yeah Right" there is nothing out there for me or "I'm no good, I can not do anything right".

My therapist sits and listens to what I have to say. She does not judge me because it is not her place to. Our goal is to help me on the right path to improve my marriage and strengthen the bonds of our family.

My Goals that we set at the session are:

To sit down with my husband twice a month to discuss the upcoming events, financial issues, and about our marriage and meeting each others needs.

Next goal: for me to find a new Primary Care Doctor. I don't think that the one that I have is the right Doctor for me, hence, I have been relucatant to see him. If I find a doctor that I like and can work with in managing my care then I will be more apt to see them.

So far I have met my second goal. I have found a new doctor and I scheduled an appointment. I will get there one step at a time.

Power of Positive Thought

Many people have said this and many books have said the same thing think positive thoughts. Once negative thought can counteract three positive thoughts.

The goal for me is to improve my positive thinking. I know this is a hard goal to accomplish, especially for one who is depressed. The best action that I have found is to keep a journal, and write down what I am greatful for. Looking at my children and how they love me and I love them brings great joy to my life.

I have the chance to give my children what I did not have. I want to show them the love and affection that they need and to glory in the love and affection that they give me.

My heart melts every time I hear my little son say "I love you mommy".

Times may seem tough now with no end in sight, but reveal in each day that you are alive because in some way you have touched another person's life, and hopefully you have done so in a good way.

Remember that the next time that you talk with a stranger or a loved one.

Busy! Busy! Busy!

This week has been so busy with going to Doctor appointments. Sometimes its hard to keep track of what is going on. I feel crazy and overwhelmed. I decided to buy one of those big desktop calendars.

I am able to write all the appointments in and notes for myself. I find this system works best for our family. I also go to college. The squares for the dates are large enough and I can write in the assignments that I have due, and then break them down during the week or month depending on the assignment.

This would work well in keeping track of childrens assignments and afterschool activites. Each person can have their our color and highlight their activities in their color. If you like you can also use stickers.

I also keep a notepad on the fridge of items that need to be bought, then as I am running out the door I can rip the paper of and take it with me.