A long road to get here!

I have not posted in a while but I am still working on my goal to be a healthy mommy at home. During the time that I last posted I did work outside of the home. I found that by putting my children in daycare they were better off at home. I know staying at home is not an option for everyone, but I am glad that I have been blessed to stay at home.

For the short time that I worked outside the home my children were getting sick constantly and I found it hard to juggle home, work, and my sick kids. In the end the I had to let go of the job that I enjoyed. I hope in the future when my kids are older I will be able to be reunited with my job and the people that I came to care for and respect.

For now I have been focusing on my family, my home, and getting in shape. My husband and I have been spending more quality time together and talking to each other. We have been married a long time and it seems during that time we lost connection with each other. We took for granted all the things that we have together. I found that its easy to hurt the ones that we love because we think they will always be there for us or they understand us. In reality this is not the case. The ones that we love are more affected by our actions than we realize. The need the most caring, love, and affection that we can give them because they live with us on a daily basis.

It's easy to let past hurts and resentments build up in life until all of it comes bubbling up to the surface. When the time comes for all those emotions to come out they are bitter and vile. I have finally started to learn how to talk with my spouse and talk about the discontent in our marriage, and I realize that sometimes my spouse has misconstrued my actions or a situation and I had no idea what they were thinking. I would have had no clue what they were thinking unless they told me, and without that knowledge those thoughts had become bitter pills in our marriage.

I have also learned to become more relaxed about my life. What will be will be. I have the control over what I decide I want to do but I can't control the outside forces. For the most part I stopped letting everything get to me. I finally understand the phrase "Pick your battles". In the past I used to think that everything was a battle to win. It's nice to win but if your always putting people down and making them feel like the loser then you have lost. The cost could be the one you love.